These Little Lights

hparisphotography.com Photography isn't just about capturing that perfectly put-together picture. It also can help us say things that our words would otherwise fail to adequately say. I know mothers will see many different reflections and situations of themselves reflected in this image; they have already. I've had over 280 comments on various threads already in just a couple days. That was my hope. That women would recognize something in this that spoke to them and find some validation, a sense of feeling understood. You aren't alone. The pressure on moms today is very high. Not only do we tend to be the ones running the house entirely, paying bills, cleaning, cooking, groceries, keeping up on dates, appointments, play-dates, children's needs, their homework, help our spouse, be the backbone of strength and determination for the family, and endless more, we often need to be working in some way to bring in an income as well. We find ourselves sacrificing in m...

Trials have been on my heart lately. Not just any trials, but  refining  trials. The bible tells us in  many  different ways how God refines us through trials, afflictions, and pruning. Isaiah 48:10 talks of how we are refined in the furnace of affliction. "Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." John 15:2 tells us God will cut away unfruitful branches. "Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit." The imagery of having branches cut away is purposeful, because having parts of us cut off is going to be painful, but is the only way we will grow strong, full, and produce good fruit. Galatians 5:22-23 tells us what good fruit is:  "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.". ...

April 16th, 2016 I see you there, playing quietly by yourself, only it's not so quiet. You make lots of repetitive sounds and your hands and fingers fly and "walk" and crash into each other in frenzies. They do this along store shelves when we shop and along walls as we walk and under desks as you learn and in the vehicle while we drive. Your version of "stimming". But then you'll turn to me and say the most intelligent and mature things. You reveal my complacency in my knowledge of the world and in my education when you randomly interrupt or interject oddly placed statements of scientific facts or ask me questions about things I don't think I ever even learned in school. You remind me of all the things still out there to learn about. You with your lack of any speech until you were three, who then went right into big words and concepts well beyond your age. My beautiful boy who would break down into a disastrous fit if we demanded you "look a...

March 12th, 2016 Death. Loss. Depression. Uncertainty. It weighs heavily, it crushes my emotional shoulders and causes my mental legs to weaken and waiver.  I'm on shaky ground. I watch a family near us grieve the loss of their beautiful 1 yr old.  My heart aches and my eyes well with tears as I look at my own 1 yr old , my precious baby.  I am just barely able to brush against the fringes of the gravity and depth of that loss.  The fringe feels unbearable.  I can not fathom.   A family friend loses their mother, no older than mine to a series of hospital and nursing home mistakes and misses.  It aches.  I've lost my mother in a dream and woke up unable to breath from the crushing feelings of despair and pain.  I can not fathom. Abuse. Neglect. Crime. My Facebook feed is filled with cases of foster children, abused children, sexually assaulted children, murdered children, forgotten children.  I tell my...

February 28th, 2016 It's 3 pm and I'm waiting outside my son's school to pick him up.  I always ask how his day was and if he had fun.  I inquire about who he played with and if anything about his day bothered him or wasn't that fun.  He always tells me, even if a bit hesitantly.  Sometimes I prod him, but it's the kind of prodding that you can tell the child wants you to do.  They  want  to tell you, but for whatever reason, are hesitant.  Today he reached into his backpack and silently stuffed a folded up note into my hands, his face showing just the slightest hint of embarrassment.  It's a note from a girl that he's friends with at school.  She tells him how much she likes him and that they are peas in a pod.  It's so sweet.  I tell him how nice that was and ask if he is nice to her and thanks her when she says kind things (this is especially important because he has Asperger's and doesn't always r...

February 20th, 2016 Ah, Sunday mornings.  Sometimes it takes a solid mental pep-talk to get out of my warm bed. My kids are miraculously still sleeping even though every other day of the week they are up an hour earlier...or more.  I give myself a "mom" talk. You know, the one about doing whats right, being responsible, people depending on me, I'll feel better after a good God-infusion, kind of thing.  I get up, pour some coffee and get going. And wouldn't you know it, it pays off, that sermon TOTALLY spoke to me!  I am so glad I got up and went to church! I feel uplifted, convicted, etc, because God  meant  that sermon to apply to me, to my life, to my family.  It's funny how often Sunday morning comes around and that lesson taught at church seems to be speaking right to me, like it's written for me. My life, my struggles.  It tells me God is in it.  It tells me that He understands each of our struggles, our lives  today . ...